Forgive Us Our Transgressions.

Two days ago I was on not only on the Tiger Woods slamo-rama bandwagon, I was hitching up the mules to pull the thing into punch line heaven. It’s was so easy. Painless, really. How much fun it is to make fun of a billionaire running over fire hydrants while his frothing wife smashed out his car windows with Nordic fury (and a little help from a golf club). Today, I let loose with a barrage of choice phrases when I heard the phone message from Tiger asking his alleged mistress to change her voicemail greeting so that his wife wouldn’t know that the number was hers. The call, if you haven’t heard it, went something like “Uh…huhhuh…This is Butthead. Uh…huhhuh. Could you like take your name off your voicemail so it doesn’t suck so much? huhhuhhuh.”  Sadly, she wasn’t the only woman in question. Every town has a course, and he’s played ‘em all, apparently. Something stopped me from making any more fun of Tiger, though. As Keith Olberman and Michael Musto had a great time trashing Tiger on Countdown tonight, I began to look at the story with an unusual little strand of perspective. Four words Tiger uttered in his public statement: “I regret those transgressions.”

By its Webster’s definition, transgression covers more than just the simple mistake. This is no mere “Oops, my bad for sleeping with that waitress in Reno.” To transgress is to commit a sin that violates not only decency, but by its definition the sacred bonds of marriage. He wrote the words  on his website today( TigerWoods.com: Tiger comments on current events) and I believe the statement is worth reading in its entirety (as well as the first few comments posted along with his piece). While I don’t condone how the man has behaved, I do believe that Tiger’s statement offers a glimpse into how celebrities handle fame and the isolation that accompanies the world shouting your name. Tiger ascended the proverbial mountaintop almost upon reaching adulthood. He married a woman already part of his inner circle of golf competitors. Affairs are huge transgressions, but he probably wasn’t going to blow off steam by taking up golf. Everything is available to him, but he may have needed something, or someone, to maintain that last little bit of privacy. The Beatles complained after their first wave of adulation that the only place they could be truly alone individually was in the restroom. I get the idea that the clandestine hookup was Tigers only means to freedom. Was it right? No. Huge transgression. Still, I wouldn’t want to have my name on everything yet have nothing to my name.

The first week of December has so far been all about the lonely celebrity. President Obama spoke of sending 30,000 troops to Afghanistan to a nation that may as well have all been stony faced West Point Cadets. Meredith Baxter Birney came out on Today and the media shrugged. It takes a lot to say you’ve transgressed, but it takes cojones as big as church bells to say it before the whole world and then stand behind it.