Mood Lighting.

I’ve been on a serious  rant for the past week and I think it’s time to lighten up. No fish covered politicians, no star studded memorial pageantry. Today I was thinking about a list I made many months ago (over breakfast, natch) of my favorite cinematic ways to die. Yeah, that ought lighten up the old blog. So, here goes. My favorite movie kills (minus slasher films, because they’re predictable). Every movie listed contains plot spoilers, so beware.

10.) Spontaneaously Combustable Drummers-Spinal Tap made the heavy metal drummer expendable and lowered the pool of available talent. Tied with Green Day drowning in toxic sludge during the opening moments of The Simpsons Movie.

9.) Death by glutony. Se7en’s first deadly sin, the killing of an grotesquely overweight mobster, could only be topped by the ultra-sick end of the movie.

8.) Mcauley Culkin and bees. I am not some twisted snuff geek who cheers about characters biting it on screen, but my deep loathing of the film My Girl, of it’s star and of the fact that I agreed to watch the steaming pile made Mcauley being stung to death at the end of the movie quite satisfying.

7.) Death from staring at Amanda Peet. The Whole Nine Yards was one of those surprising, enjoyable little movies, made all the better by wannabe hit woman Peet. Not much left to the imagination there.

6.) Death from wrestling. Old School’s oldest frat-boy does a header when introduced to the joys of tag team wrestling. All we are is dust in the wind.

5.)Death by melting. If you haven’t seen Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, go rent it. Still king of the Trek films.

4.) Death in the cafe. Casablanca’s Peter Lorre bites trying to weasel away from the Nazi’s and the local police. Even Bogart couldn’t help him out of that one.

3.)Death by heartless intelligence agents. Dianna Rigg, newlywed, dies tragically in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, one of the best and most underrated Bond films. Tied with Eva Green’s waterlogged finale in Casino Royale.

2.) Death by son. Darth meets his match in young Skywalker. Return of the Jedi’s ending kept us longing for more Star Wars for a decade and a half.

1.) Death by shoe. My sentimental favorite. Shrug of a movie, so I’m going to cut to the chase. Jennifer Jason Leigh puts a stiletto heel through poor Stephen Weber’s forehead. A woman scorned is bad news, but a scorned woman with shoes? You’d better run. Lesson learned.